Last night we didn’t really talk much last night, and I was sad. I got a text at 10 but didn’t see it ‘til the next morning. Today I went over to my friends house and she knows about the text you sent me. She thinks your gonna ask me out face to face. But I highly doubt that. I want you to but I know you won’t. /: It’s exactly what I knew I’d get from you, from this. I just. I just. Idk.
Me&Marisol are gonna totally scrub out Monday. (: It’ll be fun. No one will wanna talk to us. Me, Marisol, and Ali all should go to Fear Farm or like The 13th Floor or something. That’d be fun. Oh well. I’m done.
This morning at 1:43am you sent me a text msg telling me how beautiful I am and how much you love me and how you would do anything to make me happy. The night before you texted me asking me what I would say if you asked me out. And right away I thought “Is he gonna ask me out?” And then I thought, is this a trick question? Is Brandon texting me off of Terrances’ phone or maybe his little brother? So I texted you saying yes but I didn’t know and I wanted to know why you asked. 10 mins later there still wasnt a response so then of course I started thinking the worst. Like you and Brandon were laughing over it and making fun of me. So I texted you one more time asking if it was a trick question, but still ended up without a response so I went to bed. The next morning immediatly I had to go and see if you msg’d me back and you did telling me all the stuff I started out with. I texted you back saying “Aww Terrance, I love you too.” After I hit send I right away regretted saying that and wish that I would’ve said more than that. I thought about you all day non-stop. &now I’m sitting here @ 9:14 waiting for you to text me typing this and really thinking, scratch that convincing myself you hate me; you don’t wanna see my face; you think I’m ugly and you’d NEVER date me. Which I’m scared of. But at this moment I have convinced myself this. If you don’t text me today I will be the saddest most depressed girl untill you do. And when you do I’m gonna wanna tell you everything on my mine and if/when I do, you’ll think I’m crazy and that’s when I’ll know for a fact you’ll think I’m a nuttcase. And I don’t want that. Because I am crazy in love with you. I don’t wanna be but I am. I’m scared your gonna hurt me/break my heart. I want you for me and no one else. And your probably thinking about Tayiah and not me. She’s probably calling you right now thinking your talking&thinking about me instead of her. I love you. Don’t do what I mentally think your doing. Don’t break my heart I will never get over you. I wonder if you know that. I wonder if you know that I love you, more than anything. I wonder if your thinking about me, at all. Like anything. What so ever. But I doubt it. I wish I didn’t but I’m insecure not self-centered bitch that thinks everything is about me. But I’m making it sound that way aren’t I? Damn it. Fuck life. I hate you. I just do. Why do I have to think of the worst things first? I love you. Why do you do this to me?
I will love you forever and always. You are my everything, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. When I see you I want you to pick me up and kiss me like it’s the end of the world, and you want me to die in your arms; you wanna die in mine. I love you. I miss you. More than anything. This week off of school fucking sucks and it’s barely started. Tomorrow when I see you, you have better believe Imma be the happiest person alive. I think about you every second of everyday. I love you every second of everyday. Your perfection. You MY perfection. Their aren’t really words to describe how much I really do love you. You are amazing. <3 Ugh. It’s gross how much I love you.
I love him more than anything. But I can’t do anything about it. Everytime we talk I feel as though I am annoying him. I’m in love. I dumped my ex for him. I just wanna kiss him. Saturday I WILL see him. We’ll have some fun(; & do what was planned. I love him more than anything. I do. I really do. I just want him to myself. But Im scared to be seen around him, just knowing what people could be thinking. I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s so perfect I couldn’t ask for anyone better. He loves me I love him. What more can I say. I want him and no one else. I want to be with him forever. I can see my future with him. What more can I even ask for. He’s perfect. I just love him. So much. He is the sweetest most cutest guy ever. And yesterday when he handed me my backpack he almost kissed me and I almost kissed him and I totally regret not kissing him. He’s indescribable. I want him all to myself. If I could I would be with him the entire break in his bedroom. Just me and him. Not electronics no nothing that can lead us to the outside world. I just want me and him. My head on his chest when we sleep. Before I fall asleep, I want him to kiss the top of my head and tell me “goodnight beautiful, I love you.” He’s my everything. He’s the only one I want. I want him to always feel comfortable around me. I want people to look at us and think “i wish i had something like that.” I want us to be perfect. I want you to want to walk me to class and not care about being late. Kissing me everytime you see me. I want you to pick me up and kiss me every morning when you see me. I just want you and me to be perfect. To be together for awhile. I love you way to much to say bye. I want you to call me when i get home and not get off the phone ‘til we meet at school. I want you to hold me close and give me those special hugs you give me. We would be together. Ditch school together one Friday a month, walk to the mall and keep the family restroom occupied the entire day. You’d make me miss the bus so you can walk me home kiss me goodbye, smile walking away scream to the world that you love me. We’d have a song that means the world to us. You’d have a part and I’d have a part. I want you to give me your jacket during the winter and freeze your ass off just to make sure I’m warm. I love you more than anything. I hope you see that. I love you, so much. <3